Me and Him have been fighting all weekend and he has been so sweet sending me messages like I love you can we just move forward but then I look for something else to get mad at him for because I am so tired and I want him to feel as shitty as me. And that is basically how I roll.
I am in so much back pain I have to keep icing it and I found how that the Nursing Program at college in my city is full so I would have to wait til January to get out of this hell hole and I don’t want to stay that long! So I am miserable and I don’t want to be around anyone happy. I think I really needed to get this out there so I can realize how dumb I’m being.
One minute I’m like go have fun with your friends and the next I’m like you really upset me and I don’t think you care that you wasted my time, how has he not ran away screaming from me, what a trainwreck!
To make it worse its all through text even though we said we would call when we were upset because it gets lost in translation but yet we still do it. Its so easy to push his buttons cause its so easy to text him mean things and know he won’t leave.
I don’t even know what those text messages say, I go back and read them and its just passive aggressive bullshit.
I need more sleep. I any pain meds. I need to hear his voice.
This all started because he didn’t want me to come over anymore even though we had plans to make dinner together and I took it really personally because I was going to pick up some things for him. His friend was still sleeping and he said his place was a mess and I can’t deal with that so he said he respects that and its better if I didn’t come over. And then I faught about him wasting my time and bailing last minute and its 530 how is someone still sleeping and he confessed shit is going down with his mom but he didn’t want to tell me and make me worried cause I’ve already helped him so much. But that hurt me more cause I’m like that. And then I was babysitting and its like okay we made plans last week that I’d come over after babysitting do you even remember but he made plans cause he assumed I didn’t want to see him so of course I was like RAWR you are bailing again!? And the fighting got worse and he thought I was breaking up with him cause I just want to fight and not let him have fun because I am babysitting and he it out. And I haven’t seen him all week, I’ve been so tired because of work and busy and stuff and him with his new job… And so its like don’t you wanna see me?
So I left a msg being like hey I’m sorry please call me no more msging just call me back let’s work it out this morning and I’m so hungry and tired and sorry for the run on sentences!